Thursday, September 1, 2016

Are internet friends better than irl {in real life} friends? | Waffle/Rant

A better version of this blogpost in video form.

So many of us will know of the term "internet friends" either quite well to the point where you have many of your own that you have no idea how you got, or some would wish they had friends like that. Without trying to shove it in anyone's faces I can honestly say I do have great friends that happened to start out online. To the parents who still think everyone online is a paedophile, nahhhh just friends you haven't had the chance to meet just yet. Now for those of you who find yourself wishing to still find those friends, many of them will already be around your online persona, you both just need to be fair on the time you talk one-on-one and the friendships can take off. Or sometimes fall, some just weren't meant to be.

I'm not exactly the pinnacle {is that even the right spelling for it? idk [I don't know] I only just passed my English Language exam, cut me some slack} to be giving advice here. I was lucky enough to have internet from a young age but even then mum would still restrict me from certain websites like Twitter. Other social medias and elsewhere were completely fine but a big N O to Twitter. Bear in mind I had no idea about Tumblr back then, ah that probably would've been blocked too though. So I wasn't actually able to start with Twitter till March 2011, I was about 14 and I think I was only able to because I was on it when mum wasn't around but before then I guess I did have some {like 5, none I talk to now} on Facebook/YouTube where I made random friends to get the free gifts for games.

Anyway, to get to the actual point of this blogpost; it's to say that it's quite rare to have friends or anyone that you talk to day in, day out. There are people I still consider friends and we haven't talked for a week or longer but in a way we're still connected, neither of us have deleted the other on Facebook just yet, so we must want to stay in contact or we're just not really bothered on it. Either way, we can still be in each others lives and say "hello" randomly then catch-up. There have been people that followed, said hi and unfollowed then went the next, so if the person hasn't done that yet you're a shoe in.

Thing is though, even online where you have your own build to hide behind and not everyone will know you irl so you're free to be whoever and whatever, it can still take courage to start your own conversations with random people; whether this is in groupchats {gcs}or one-on-one. Honestly I find each as hard as each other, with gcs you have to talk to a number of people at the same time and be equal, you have to be as open as you are with some people in that gc to all the people in that gc, it's just a lot of work. Then there's talking one-on-one where it should be easier with just the two of you but really at first, we, are all strangers. Those good friends, you started out as strangers. Even with our own family members, yes we're related but that doesn't always mean we're close, we could still be strangers; like those old ancestors that say they remember you as a baby but you don't remember them, because who remembers things as a baby? So you see what I mean, even the bestest of friends start out as complete strangers and it can take a while or milliseconds to get to know each other; depending on how fast your personalities click together.

To find those kind of people faster, you have to either join gcs or search for your likes {within fandoms}, find people who like the same singer/band/youtuber/artist of any kind and go from there; find out what else you have in common. Most will like that person for the same reasons so you can bond easily then but each of you have to keep the conversations going, that's where it gets difficult to keep internet friends.

There's a literal distance that internet friends have that irl friends easily don't. Irl friends can easily go to each others houses, hug, have sleepovers, watch their favourite digital things with one screen, pat each other on the back when needed, no walls to travel, and even possibly see the side that isn't always seen online. Whereas for internet friends, they have to do all this with the barriers of actual distance, timezones, their own lives and just even their own irl friends. That is a hell of a lot of work to keep up, and it's no wonder there are those that break when it all becomes too much. There are even ones that would still make you feel like: "they're ignoring me, aren't they? They haven't replied in seconds like they always do so they must be ignoring me." Uh actually they have a life of their own, it could be many things. I guess even irl friends still have this too though, and it can still be same with jealousy; where a friend treats another friend better than you, or they're closer or just whatever.

Some people would go as far to say there is no such thing as internet friends and they can't be compared to irl friends, but really, the difference is: internet friends don't have to be there in person with them ALL the time, they've literally started out online so it can stay online. Irl, there HAS to be the get togethers sooner or later, according to them: "it's just not possible to catch-up through texts."
Sure,, don't mind us internet friends connecting in the way we just always have through messages. 

So you see why internet friends hug SO MUCH when they meet irl, compared to actual friends irl who see each other everyday; internet friends won't always have that lucky opportunity, so those ones that use it to their advantage in hugs are the ones worth keeping around. They shouldn't really be valued differently because either kind can help out when needed most, some just have it easier than others. Either can bounce back to say hi randomly. What really matters, are the people are there for you and you're there for them, you CAN get to know each other through messages. Hello, this is 2016 where videochat has been a thing for a while now. It's not impossible. Some will rank internet friends higher when they find them easier to interact with than people irl because they're just not near as social irl. It's just easy to judge the sort of person who ranks internet friends to irl friends on which they choose as best. Neither are best, one can be just more convenient than the other at times. So to sum up on this waffle, I love internet friends and irl friends, both have been there in times of need and both have their differences. If someone wants to have a day where they just praise internet friends then leave them be and vice versa. Neither have a pedestal but there are kinds of people that find one easier to be themselves with than the other at times, you just have to let them know it's alright and in time, it will be same.

Ah, this is a mess, I just wanted to an update blogpost with some links that match here, oh well.
The time I filmed visiting two internet friends:
Gays in Vienna

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